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Simian management 2.0: ‘Keep hitting the ground with a stick to scare away monkeys’

As monkey trouble continues to run amok in the Parliament, the security service is out with a unique new cicurlar of do’s and don’ts

New Delhi: Troubled by the monkey menace in the Parliament premises, Lok Sabha secretariat has issued guidelines on how to deal with these excitable creatures.

Lutyens’ Delhi, especially buildings near the Parliament, have been grappling with the crisis for a while now. With no permanent solution in sight, the security service has now issued a rather-puzzling circular of do’s and don’ts.

Interestingly, the circular says to not be frightened by the ‘kho-kho’ noise, commonly made by monkeys, as this is only a typical bluff. The circular suggests minimal ‘eye contact’ and warns against crossing paths with a mother/ wounded simian and her offspring.

Further, other guidelines in the circular state, “do not irritate or tease the monkeys. In case a monkey collides with your vehicle, do not stop there. Do not hit any monkey, keep hitting the ground with a big stick to make the monkey leave your house. Loud noise or loud sound will force the monkey to leave your premises.”

In fact, the siege of the monkey has gathered critical momentum in the Parliament to an alarming ascent; in 016, a curious primate entered the reading room of the Parliament and roamed around for half an hour.

In 2014, the New Delhi Municipal Corporation (NDMC) hired 40 young volunteers and dressed them as langurs to chase away monkeys, given that they are a natural deterrent to monkeys. However, langurs are loathe to captivity and hence the decision to have men mimic langurs was reportedly taken.

Earlier this year, vice-president M Venkaiah Naidu, also chairperson of the Rajya Sabha, mentioned that his official residence is impacted by the simian problem and that the government should find a solution for it. The statement was made by Naidu after INLD MP Ram Kumar Kashyap, during zero hour, raised the issue. The MP referred to a colleague, who was delayed for a committee meeting because he was waylaid by monkeys who attacked his son. Clearly, Delhi needs a solution to this appalling solution.

With no permanent solution available, Lok Sabha secretariat hopes to keep people safe from monkeys by following their new guidelines.

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Shashank Shekhar

Shashank Shekhar works as a Deputy Editor for DB Post. He specialises in investigative, terrorism, internal security and policy-making related stories. He has an active interest in tracking cybercrime, financial fraud, technology, automobile and latest trends. He can be reached at: shashank.shekhar3@bdcorp.in Follow him on Twitter @shashankrnq